My First Angel Experience

My First Angel Experience

Being only four years old, yet obnoxiously precocious, I heard them (the adults) talking in the kitchen.  The kitchen was at the end of the flat facing the backyard. The flat was what was called a “railroad” flat.  The front was the parlor with three bay windows and organdy criss-cross curtains (these curtains when laundered were then put on “curtain stretchers” in the hallway)  There was an access door to another room, a storage room, we called the “cold room” and it was cold and lacked any heat. A huge rooftop sky light would help to dry the curtains on curtain stretchers and also the wooden folding dryers for clothes. The skylight also provided lots of daylight to see coming up the stairs.  There were remnant gas lights (non working of course and you could see the capped off gas pipe from the past) that electric light fixtures.  The kitchen had a large window and the clothes were hung out to dry on a rope pulley clothesline, connected to a tall “telephone pole”in the far corner of the yard, utilized by all four tenants for their clotheslines. The building was a typical four plex.

I heard their voices and low whispers coming from the kitchen.  I was put to be in my parents four poster maple bed, the next room in from the parlor.  The entry door at the top of the landing was in the same room. Next to the left was the bathroom, then came another bedroom, the kitchen , and another bedroom off the kitchen.  My brother was asleep in the crib in that room.  I knew something was going on…they sounded sad, and alarmed at the same time.  There was a hint of embarrassment at the same time.  My grandfather owned the four plex.  He inherited it from his parents who came to America post Civil War from Sweden. (In my later years I read about how half of Sweden emptied out and disbursing around the planet.)p He was the only surviving son and his sister Karin, who I knew as Aunt (Tante) Karrie.  She was a pattern maker in NYC and a seamstress.  She grew up in Stockholm in an aristocratic, well established family.  They “dressed” for dinner daily. It was a big deal…daily especially when the parents were alive as was their custom from Stockholm. Aunt Karrie would set a  “formal ” table for me when we had coffee, tea, and toast. Well maybe there was a tablespoon of coffee in a cup of warmed milk for my coffee, cloth napkin with all appropriate utensils, the works.  I shall always remember that about her.  She had such formal class about her always around dining.  She made clothes for me, I still have in my cedar hope chest until today.  My mother told me she had a broken heart as she was “left at the alter”.  Her husband to be never showed up at the alter the day of the wedding and they never ever saw him again.  I knew of this at a young age.

They were experiencing embarrassment, because my grandfather ( a stingy kind of guy…) created a make shift apartment in the basement for Karrie, and that’s where she lived. When the police came to review the body circumstances and the undertaker came they were mortified with where she lived.  It was dark with tiny lamps… although I always felt very cozy and happy when I was there with my tante.  She created such a happy space for me all the time by her presence. I think I made her just as happy as she made me feel.  In fact, I just got how I still embrace low lighting in my own home for  all of my adult years.  I remember someone commenting on the low lighting, saying his wife liked everything brightly lit…and how he longed for low lighting. If he only knew… makes me laugh out loud even right now as I write.

This was my first experience with death.  My tante was dead and they were so concerned about how she was found in her basement apartment.  Well, what’s that all about ?  That is where she lived !

Sleep would evade me during all their hardly audible conversations and whispers,  audibly indecipherable.

I would doze off  and wake back up.

Then I felt a serene coolness in the room where I was with the big four poster maple bed.

The covers were gently moving down the bed, it was bizarre, I sat straight up in a flash.

At the bottom right post I could see something light and bright moving closer and closer to the post at the bottom right side of the bed…

At first I was startled and almost immediately I felt a sense of pure peace what today I can relate to as “a peace that passeth all understanding”.

At first I thought it was my tante Karrie, the face of the being was pulsing, wavering, shimmering at such a rapid pace I could not clearly distinquish the face.  I knew the presence and I was not afraid.

I want to tell you I heard this audibly and  I cannot say that for sure.  What I can say is it was beyond any doubt a communication of sorts…mind to mind.

The being “said”…I will always be with you, I will always watch over you, I will always protect you. Then in what I can relate to as a nano second the being moved back and as though a centrifugal force with  the biggest vacuum power engaged…the being disappeared.

I fell back into my pillow, pulled the covers upon me and fell right off the sleep.

I never told anyone…I knew they would not believe me.